Zombie Enounter before
a Halloween Party
For the past
couple years, I've had my Halloween party a couple weeks before
Halloween. It's convenient because it doubles as a
dress-rehearsal for everyone's costumes. Since I'm OCD and
everything has to be custom to my specifications, the costumes are
rarely finished by this point, but having a party is incentive enough
to get them as close to ready as possible. They get tweaked over
the next couple weeks when we go out to Oak Lawn, parties, etc.
So anyway, I borrow a lot of decorations for inside from my friend
Shanna (also a Halloween nut). There's no problem since she
doesn't decorate until Halloween day and only leaves the stuff up until
the Trick or Treaters are gone, then takes it down before she goes out
that night (read: lives in a bad neighborhood). I'd already
gotten a lot of her stuff back to her after our party, but there was
still more that she needed back. I literally get two carloads
from her every year, and I have a Prius (read: I have a huge
cock). It's a hatchback, and I still fill it up at least twice
over.
Halloween day I'm bringing back the last of her things. Also, I'm
running to the dollar store near her place for additional plugs in an
attempt to overload my circuits come dusk (or "twilight" if you're 14
and/or gay). I had spotlights all over the yard, plus a giant
blacklight fixture, plus lit glowing skulls on the roof, and a
lamppost, all running through nearly three hundred feet of extension
cords off of a standard two-outlet receptacle. I'm not
exaggerating. (Note: I added a second outlet since then, so it
should be less of a spider web next year, even with the new projects).
Although I'd done some things in the yard for the party a couple weeks
earlier, I'd added a lot to it since then. At this point I've got
to get all this shit plugged in and fine-tuned before the kids start
knocking in a few hours, so I'm rushing back to my place to get
everything set up when I see a couple Mormons on bikes heading down the
street less than a block from my house. I'm laughing to myself
when I imagine what they must have thought about my yard, but when I
get inside, my partner Dani tells me they actually made it halfway up
the walkway. See, we leave the front door open a lot of the time
and there's a glass storm door that stays closed. As soon as our
dog Gus (a German shepherd/akita mix) saw them, he let out a big bark,
and they high-tailed it back to their bikes. I guess they thought
Devil Dog, the hound of Hell lived here. I say they gave up too
easily. St. Peter's going to be like, "Hey, I could have let you
in if you'd just saved another heretic or two. What
happened?" Them: "Uh, a dog ate our homework?"
I guess it's redundant to say they're weird based on their
behavior. That's a given knowing their ideology, but the ones
around here are very, very strange. I really don't get what
they're doing. I see them riding around my neighborhood all the
time, but they rarely ever stop anywhere. They definitely aren't
going door-to-door. I'm sure my place was targeted on Halloween
only because of the decorations, although one time well in advance of
Satan's birthday they rode up and offered to help with anything we
needed done around the house. I was outside with both my partner
and my friend Kristin at the time, and I'm like, "Uh, no. We're
good." They would NOT leave. We finally just started
ignoring them and they stood there for another five minutes before they
shuffled off. You want to talk about zombies? That's some
scary shit.
Copyright
2011
the Ale[x]orcist.
