Let's look through the white pages for Old Testament folks...

Abel, Therapist

Adam, Podiatrist

Cain, Firefighter

David, Pacifist

Eve, Skeptic

Goliath, Jockey

Moses, Sailor

Noah, Off-Road Racer

Solomon, Game Show Host

And from the New Testament...

King Herod, Pediatrician

John the Baptist, Hydrophobic

Judas, Museum Curator

Lazarus, Undertaker

Lucifer, Astronomer (and part-time Magician at children's parties)

Mary Magdalene, Attorney at Law

Mary, Used Car Salesperson

Matthew, Patent Clerk

Peter, Rock Star (pun alert for Aramaic speakers!)

Pontius Pilate, Air Traffic Controller (uh, oh!  really bad pun)

Thomas, Televangelist

Now go forth and multiply, divide, and take square roots.

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