It needs work and I guess I really just need to decide which direction to go with this material.

• Make several meals at the same time.  This way you don't have to get all the ingredients out again later.

• Recycle those cds AOL keeps sending you in the mail.  Put them on your roof during the summer as reflectors to keep things cool.  Oh, and in the winter you can make them into a solar condenser to keep you warm!

• Don't brush your teeth every day.  If you skip a day, guess what?  Now you can take off twice as much plaque in one brushing!  And you don't need to bother flossing.  Honestly, who is ever going to see between your teeth?!

• Squeegee yourself off after a shower... that way your towels don't get moldy as fast... so you don't have to wash them as often!  You can save at least a two whole dollars a year this way.

• Don't get the skim stuff, buy whole milk, then add water.  I mean, whole milk is like "milk concentrate."

• Save electricity by turning on the subtitles and watch your DVDs in FF.  You're done in a fraction of the time.  Now you can go read a book.  You know, by candlelight.

• Keep two dirty clothes hampers: one for whites and the other for colors.  This way you won't have to sort them.  After all, you aren't going to get around to washing your clothes until both are overflowing anyway.

• Don't waste time pulling nose hairs; put a lit cigarette lighter up your nose and burn them away all at once.

• Don't buy nothin'.  Rent movies (and books if you can read) from libraries.  You can keep dvds for a week or more, so there are fewer late fees, you slacker.

• Cheap idea for a dates: Explore the local sewer system.  Better than a horror movie.  It's creepy and admission is always free!

• Buy books for 50 cents from Goodwill, then trade them in to used bookstores for 25% of the cover price.  Where's the victim in that?

• Foster dogs for the humane society.  You never have to pay for them and there's a new one every few weeks.  (If only girlfriends were this easy!)

• Let the kids do it for you... Get your hair done at the beauty school.  Get your teeth cleaned at the nearby dental school.  Get your prostate examined at the local medical school.  And if you get off on that last one, lucky you!

• Do things simultaneously.  Time is money.  You don't have either.  And you need the exercise.

• Sell everything you haven't used in the past year.  If you haven't touched it, it's just a liability.  Get rid of your books.  If you've read them, you don't need them.  If you haven't read them already, you're never going to.  Remember, eBay is your friend and your house is a goddamned fire hazard.

• Always buy the dented cans of whatever you need at the supermarket.  After all, they're just going to get thrown out.  See, now you're saving the environment and helping Wal-mart bring up their bottom line.  Wait, never mind that last bit.

• Set your screen saver to one minute.  This saves electricity and keeps you focused.  If you aren't paying attention to the screen, move on.  Seriously, if it takes you much longer than 60 seconds to read what's on your screen, you have a problem.  Like maybe your fonts are too small.

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