Monster Mail
A dot.comrade pointed me to the Global Lake Monster Database, a collection of unsubstantiated anecdotes purporting to prove fundamentalist Christian ideology that the Earth is 6,000 years old.  I couldn't help but send the following letter by way of thanks, but to date there has been no response from phillip@livingdinos.com.
Dear GLMD,

Thank you for providing the public with this valuable service.  I can't tell you how often I've been near water that was thought to be "monster-free" only to find myself in the jaws of a lake monster without my lake monster repellent and lake monster anti-venom kit.  Thanks to your efforts and those of the Weekly World News in sharing information of this quality, many monster attacks can be averted on a global (can we say "monsterous"?) scale.

-A grateful reader.

p.s. Please also consider including sewer monsters in future updates to the database as this will help civil engineers design better methods of clearing backed-up lines due to monster poop.

Copyright 2007 Ale[x]olution.
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