Burger King. I love Burger King. It's the one fast food restaurant I actually like and will actively look for. This is in spite of the fact that I worked there in high school, believe it or not. Since my new house had no food in it until I moved some over, I decided I would go to Burger King. I mean, I hadn't had breakfast because, while the cereal was at the new place, the milk was still in the fridge at the old place.Thankfully, the nice thing about having a GPS (even an older, cheaper model like mine) is that you can ask it where the nearest restaurants are. This is especially useful when you just moved to a new part of town like right now.
So I say, Hey, GPS, where's Burger King? It says there's one a couple miles away. I say, great! Thanks, GPS, I'm glad I brought you with me! I drive over there and find out it's the Burger King at the zoo. Thanks a fucking lot, GPS. You really got me that time. I'm not buying a ticket into the zoo to go to Burger King. Okay, so is there really a Burger King around here?
I should have known it was teasing me again because it sent me back the way I came from. I end up maybe a mile further from my house than where it sent me before, and I find the new wing of the hospital standing on the spot where the Burger King was up until a little over a year ago (in other words, shortly after I bought this copy of the GPS's database). Good thing there's a hospital there though because my blood pressure is in heart attack/stroke territory.
I say, okay, fuck you, GPS. This isn't funny anymore. I'm hungry and I've asked you twice already. Now tell me: Where's a fucking Burger King? It sends me several more miles out to an area where I don't ever remember seeing a Burger King. Sure enough, it's a Wendy's. Thanks a fucking lot. Fortunately, these units are apparently at least as rugged as Samsonite luggage because I threw the fucking thing on the floor of the car and stomped on it.
![]() |
Back to the index |