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In torture class, bamboo shoots were applied to the bride's cuticles until she agreed to take the marshmallow Peeps out of her hair and put on her wedding dress. |
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I'm listening attentively to Judge Judy while my ex-to-be tries to remember if she left the iron on. |
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Here my dad congratulates me on getting married before I inherited his hairline. |
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My mom has a post-hypnotic suggestion to giggle uncontrollably whenever she hears the word "cheese." |
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This was the last time I trusted my ex to wield a knife while I was within striking distance. |
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We were were in a school. How could you not expect there to be a food fight? |
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Being a teacher as well, the bride asks
the kids to guess how long they think the marriage will last.
(Correct answer: Four years.) |
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Whenever there's an amplifier of any size, my dad always does an air guitar impression for my mom's amusement and my embarrassment. |
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In addition to hell freezing over and flying pigs, money was also found to grow on trees on the day of the wedding. |
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