The weeks leading up to my wedding
(and the next couple afterwards) were among the busiest of my life.
Psychologists have found that stress can be caused by either good or bad
events. Either represents a significant change in one's life, and
that is all that is apparently required for it to be stressful. In
roughly a four week period, I managed to have more than my fair share of
major events.
Specifically, I was wrapping up my master's
degree at LSU. This meant I was defending my thesis just before finals.
I was also driving out to Texas for job interviews while I was still attending
my last couple of courses during that summer semester. More stress.
Somewhere near the end of July the principle
of a school in Texas called me at home and asked if I had accepted a job
yet. I had sent out applications though I was entertaining the idea
of a position locally, but I hadn't signed anything yet, so I said no.
She explained that she had a position open teaching biology and chemistry.
We talked for a bit more, then we planned for me to come out there on Wednesday
to see the school.
A short while later, we headed out to Texas
(again) with Chrissie (my then-fiancee, now ex-wife), this time to visit
the school and meet the faculty. We actually ended up on a retreat
and scavenger hunt during the day, and it wasn't until that afternoon that
I was interviewed. Well, after the interview and some discussion
between the staff, I was offered a contract.
The next day, Thursday, I went to a new
employee's orientation at the high school while Chrissie waited at the
hotel room. She had not found a job teaching yet, so throughout the
day she had been making calls to find us a place to live. When I
got off work, we headed over to the best-sounding apartment before the
leasing office close, and we signed for it pretty quickly. That night
I called another teacher I met earlier who had also just started in the
district. From her I obtained information about local banks, where
to get a Texas driver's license, inspection sticker, and registration,
and so on.
The next day, Friday, I continued with
my orientation, which I won't go into detail about here. When it
was over, I hitched a ride with another teacher over to the Pantry, a local
restaurant, to meet the principal of my school and the other new teachers
for lunch. She extended the offer the day before, but I didn't think
I would still be in town at noon. Chrissie was running errands all
over the place, but she eventually joined me at the Pantry where, by this
time, more than half the staff had joined us.
The rest of the teachers were amazed at
the amount we were trying to (and for the most part getting) accomplished.
When Chrissie told them the next item on our agenda for the day was to
obtain a marriage license from the courthouse, they asked when we were
getting married. Chrissie had called a justice earlier so they just
about died laughing when she said Wednesday night, which was also the first
day of school. Someone (and I wish I could remember who for posterity's
sake) suggested we get married at the school. We all laughed, but
before long everyone was throwing ideas out about how to make it work.
Naturally, I was a bit hesitant to agree
to it at first because I hardly knew these people, I would be living in
the district, here were all these kids I had to teach going to my wedding,
but still, it wasn't so crazy that I didn't think it my be fun. They
began suggesting where to get the cake, how to get flowers, where they
could perform the ceremony, and what the kids could do. Julie even
had a minister she wanted us to use. It was going to be that the
kids were going to actually be there and the wedding would take place during
the school day, but eventually that was thought better of so that the students
wouldn't have to be there if they didn't want and there could be no true
objection.
After lunch we all sort of split and they
headed back to the school while Chrissie and I headed off to handle a million
other things before hitting the road to head back home to Louisiana, where
we didn't actually arrive until 2am. I stayed over at Chrissie's
parents' place that night, but then went home to my folks' where I finally
told them in person about the wedding plans. Up to this point they
knew that we were getting the license, but that was all. Originally,
Chrissie was to come over that afternoon to help load some things in her
parents' truck, but it was raining that day, so we couldn't do that without
things getting wet. As a result, she stayed at her place until the
next day. In the meantime, I got down to serious packing .
On Sunday I headed back to Texas with whatever
I could fit in my car that wouldn't melt in the heat. I couldn't
unload the car at the apartment until Tuesday when our lease started.
On Sunday and Monday night, I stayed at another teacher's place.
She had been nice enough to extend the offer before I headed back for my
things, and I ended up having to take her up on it.
The next day, Monday, I went to school
for some beginning of the year training, although I actually spent most
of the day with the previous science teacher who was moving out of the
state shortly. She filled me in on the curriculum and how things
ran day to day.
Tuesday was more of the same: some training
and such, but I also spent the latter half of the day running around trying
to get everything else taken care of with the wedding. The main detail
for me on that day was to get a tux. I meant to get one the night
before, but I didn't get out until late because I was so busy at the school.
We called a few places, but didn't have any luck finding any that would
still be open close by. However, the principal's husband had a tux
and happened to be my size. The plan was to pick it up later that
afternoon from her house, but in the meantime I still had to meet with
the judge.
Well, Chrissie was supposed to come up
from Louisiana with her parents and all our stuff and be at the apartment
around 3pm. I was to pick her up and go see the judge about how we
wanted the ceremony to be. Unfortunately, I found only an empty apartment.
I sat around for a while trying to figure what to do. Eventually
it got close to 4, so I went to the courthouse. She was very nice
and we talked about the ceremony and the order of the events (vows, rings,
etc.).
I got back to the apartment around 4:30
and Chrissie still wasn't there. I was beginning to get worried,
but I had brought the computer inside by this point, so I just worked on
this narrative for a while. Eventually 5:30 was coming really close
and the office of the apt complex was getting ready to close. I knew
if I left Chrissie wouldn't have a key and there was no way to hide it.
It was a pretty tough situation. Thankfully, at about 5:35 Chrissie
and her family arrived. All I had time to do was kissed her hello
and explain that I was off to get a tux. I ran over to the principal's
house and thankfully the tux was just about perfect. I thanked her
and returned to the apartment to help move our stuff in.
What I didn't find out until I returned
was that the reason why Chrissie and her family were late was that their
moving truck had broken down en route. They had to get another truck,
then unload the original one and re-pack everything into the new one before
they could get on the road again. Incidentally, the moving company
didn't charge them for the rental after all their trouble.
Finally, Wednesday was the first day of
school for the kids as well as my wedding day. Mostly the school
day was devoted to things like team-building (the school was very much
into cooperative learning) and the usual house-keeping details like making
schedule changes and such. Meanwhile, the younger grades (e.g., junior
high kids) were putting up decorations in a couple places around the school.
Specifically, they were setting up tables and things in a large, open area
at the front part of the school for the reception. Also, nearer the
back of the building was a small auditorium that looked curiously like
a church. It had a sort of a stage that looked more like an altar
than something for a performance. In other words, a perfect place
for a wedding.
Somewhere during the scheduling and all
of this, the principal came in there and told the kids, "I know by now
some of you must have realized that something is going on around here.
Well, I'll tell you what that is," she said. "Last Friday Alxplorer,
some of the other facilitators, and myself were having lunch. We
found out he was going to get married on Wednesday. We couldn't just
let he and his fiancee get married too simply, so we all threw some ideas
around and before you knew it we had a wedding planned."
The kids all were like, "Him? He's
getting married... here?" It was really funny to see the looks on
their faces. One girl asked me if I was nervous. I said, "Well,
yeah. I mean, it's the first day of school, isn't it?" She
was like, "But you're getting married, aren't you a little nervous?"
I said, "Well, it's your first day of school too. Aren't you nervous?"
She looked at me like I was crazy.
It was a really weird phenomenon.
For some strange reason I was at a Zen-like plateau of peace. Normally,
I'm really psychosomatic, yet I felt nothing. My wedding was just
being planned and carried out without me having to worry about a thing.
Toward the end of the day was the only time I started getting nervous.
I was worried that I wasn't going to know when to do what during the ceremony.
There was no rehearsal, of course, so there was no way to know. I
found out later that the judge provides the cue for when to do what (i.e.,
"I believe the bride and groom have their own personal vows," etc.).
The last hour before the wedding was the
most hectic of all because during that time I was running around trying
to get the marriage license to Chrissie, get the ring, and get everything
lined up. Everything else was pretty well taken care of, but I just
wanted to be sure because I had much more of an emotional stake in it than
everyone else. I'm sure if something had gone big time wrong it would
have been funny for everyone else, but it would have simply ruined my only
wedding.
Thankfully, everything turned out wonderfully.
The tux fit perfectly and my boutonnière actually came from a bouquet
someone sent to the school for the first day. Everything was like
that in that everything just fell into place. All of the decorations
came from the husband of the junior high math teacher, whose husband was
a theatrical event producer and apparently had a lot of the necessary props
on hand (e.g., a trelice, paper bells, etc.).
The guy from the principle's church played
the piano for the ceremony. The judge and I took the stage and the
wedding march started. A bunch of flower girls from the second grade
class came out and threw petals. We didn't hire a photographer, but
we ended up with maybe a couple dozen rolls of film. Everyone was
taking pictures, including a photographer from the paper (we ended up in
the local section the next day).
The reception was very nice as well.
A lot of people came up and gave us very nice toasts. Someone had
donated a cake. Not an actual wedding cake, of course, but a nicely
decorated one for the occasion. We even had a DJ, one of the parents
from the school was a professional, so he came in and set up his equipment
and did his thing. I heard afterwards that he ended up getting a
booking out of it.
It really turned out to be a great way
to have a wedding. Strangely enough, a few months before this, I
dreamt that I had a similar wedding experience. In my dream, I showed
up at my future in-laws' house and was taken over to my wedding, which
was all set up and ready to start without me. It sounds like an anxiety
dream, but think about it, would you rather agonize over the planning or
just show up and be surprised? I know which I was happiest with.